In my dream, my mom was really sick. She was in the hospital, and I think she had some kind of cancer. My dad was there, and as we took care of her, I began to realize that this was really serious and she probably wasn’t going to survive.

This made me think about how life would be, only having my dad and not my mom. It was as though I recognized in the dream that I knew what it was like to only have my mom, and now I would be experiencing it the other way around. (Dreams, right?)

One summer afternoon I sat with my dad on the bench on the front porch of our old house.

“Mum is really, really sick,” I reflected.

“Yes, she is,” he agreed.

I felt my lip tremble. “I don’t think she’s going to make it. Mum is going to die, isn’t she?”

“I think she is, kid.”

Tears filled my eyes and I laid my cheek on his shoulder. He was warm and steady, and it comforted me. I thought about what life would be like after my mom was gone.

And then, as we sat there, I thought of my mom’s house. Her current house, where my dad had never lived. And then reality set in like a cold current washing through my body.

“But wait,” I said, sitting up straight, my heart pounding. “You’re not going to be here, either.”

He looked at me, but stayed quiet.

“You can’t be here.”

Finally he shook his head. “No… I can’t.”

And with that, he kind of just… disappeared.

Soon after that, I woke up. My first thought was just, huh, what a strange dream. And then half an hour later, as I made my breakfast sandwich before work, I thought about the message in the dream, and I broke down in tears in the kitchen. I cried for what had happened to my mom in the dream, but I also cried remembering how it felt to hug my dad and hear his voice. I’ve only dreamed about him two or three times since he died, and he has never spoken to me before – it’s more like he’s been there, sort of, but not really – kind of unreachable. This was so tangible and real.

I had decided not to tell my mom about the dream at all, thinking she would find it too weird. But we went to her house last minute for dinner last night, and as we were sitting around the table after we ate, I just blurted it out. She’s leaving to go on vacation on Tuesday, and call me crazy, but it’s hard not to think of that kind of dream as some kind of premonition.

My mom’s take on it was different, though.

“Look at it this way,” she said, holding my hand as I cried again. “Anything could happen at any time. But now you know he’s waiting for me.”

My whole life, my dad was always half an hour early to everything, and my mom was always half an hour late. There’s a song by Brad Paisley called “Waiting on a Woman” that perfectly sums up this whole thing – the dream, the bench on the front porch, my parents’ difference in time-keeping, and what my mom said. Part of the song goes like this:

I’ve read somewhere statistics show
The man’s always the first to go
And that makes sense ’cause I know she won’t be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And I get to the other side
I’ll find myself a bench, if they’ve got any
I hope she takes her time, ’cause I don’t mind
Waitin’ on a woman

I’ve often thought of my parents when I’ve heard this song, and I’ve smiled thinking of my dad finding a bench and waiting (albeit, probably not so patiently) for my mom. Now more than ever I hope that when her time comes, whether it’s in 50 years or 5, she finds that bench, and him.

Have you heard of Kelly Moore Bags? They make delightful camera bags that don’t LOOK like camera bags. I’ve been coveting these bags for over a year and a half, and only refrained from ordering because I couldn’t decide which I wanted the most!

I finally settled this past week on two – yes, a giant splurge, but since I’ve been waiting so long for these, and I’m getting a vacation payout from my job, AND my birthday is coming up, I decided to go for it – and was lucky enough to find them on ebay for a little less than full retail price.

I’m pleased to introduce to you my new friends, Mimi and Libby:

I.can’t.wait. for these bags to arrive! I’ve hardly taken any photos in the last 2 months because carrying my camera bag around in addition to my purse is so annoying. These bags will solve that problem! With their adjustable, removable, padded dividers, I’ll be able to carry all my regular stuff AND my camera and lenses.

If you’re looking for an amazing camera bag, check out Kelly’s site and videos for awesome tutorials on how each of the bags can be used. I’ve watched each one multiple times in my search for the perfect bag, and I am continually amazed with how much can fit in each bag! I’ll be sure to check back in after the bags arrive to let you know how much I love them!

Yessssssssss. This child is DEFINITELY related to me.

Click “read more” for before & after photos