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He’s there.

When I’m watching soccer.

When I yell “ya bum!” at overrated and overpaid baseball players.

When I’m driving and one of his favourite songs comes on the radio.

He’s there in his sister’s eyes.

My aunt claims she and my dad looked nothing alike.

In his grandson’s silly faces.

Carter - 16 1/2 months

In my sense of humour.

When a monarch butterfly flits past in the Rogers Centre in the middle of a baseball game.

When a silly expression of his suddenly pops into my head.

When I yawn and realize I make the same funny sound he did when he yawned.

He’s there in moments like this, when I realize I’m spending an evening doing exactly what he would do (soccer + book + dog).

Laying on the couch, reading and watching #soccer. Definitely channeling my dad tonight. Except I'm reading on an iPad and streaming the game online, and he would never have tolerated such nonsense. #missyoudad

When I do something boneheaded and I can hear his voice teasing me.

When we talk about all the funny things he said.

He’s there.

I just wish he was here.

Remembering this guy today and finding it hard to believe it's been 4 years since I saw his smiling face. Miss him every day. #dad #missyoudad


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Guys, it’s mid October, I still haven’t finished recapping my amazing trip to California, my house is a mess, the last week was a bit crazy as my aunt was visiting from England and I have tons of stories to tell but no time to do it, I’m about to start three weeks of a work schedule that juuuuust might do me in, in four days it will be four years since my dad died, and like, I don’t know, I just don’t feel great these days? Hashtag thank god for therapy?

Also, I typed in the title for this post and when it created the link, it said “bah-2″ which means that at some point in the past I already published a post with that title. I was going to edit it, but… see previous paragraph.

Here’s a picture of someone who, from the look of it, isn’t suffering at all.

Must be October.